Page 33 Ili the Champion

Hugs for our spaceship friend!

You hug Clara.

You let out, "I don't like when they argue. I– I– I'm scared."

Clara replies, "Don't be scared. It is all right. You are with friends. No one is arguing."

"Sometimes they make me do scary things. I don't know what they're going to make me do."

Clara replies, "Warning signs of mental illness detected. Everything is going to be okay."

Mathias adds, "Have one's voices ever been misguided, in the end?"

"Have one's voices ever been misguided, in the end?", Mathias asks.

"No, I guess not." You say.

"A healthy dose of adventure should cheer you up." Clara says. "Why don't we go up the ladder and explore Cityshanks?"

"Okay!" you say. You feel much better having the support of your friends.

The top of the ladder is an open hatch disguised as a coffin. You find yourself in the chill air of Cityshank's catacombs.

"Come on up!" you shout. " I know where we are!"

Clara and Mathias join you at the top of the ladder. John refuses to climb. "uh- uh-" he blabbers and hugs his tiger.

"There is no easy way to get the tiger up the ladder." Mathias states. "It would be strategic for us to leave John here to protect the tiger. One can periodically possess him to check in on him."

You guide Mathias and Clara out of the catacombs to the bottom of the ramp case.

You don't see any dwarves but you hear muffled cheers from the direction of the colosseum.

If King LazyDwarfButt is in sitting on his golden toilet seat on the balcony, we are now more than powerful enough to drown him in all the stuff in the arena. We should do that, to facilitate the resistance movement's takeover.

"We should kill the king and support the resistance! I know he will be in his thrown but I don't know how to get over there."

Mathias says, "As long as one is close enough to see the target, one's options are many." He waves his hand and a strip of his armor peals off forming a circular band which levitates in the air. "Drop this over his neck and contract it to cut off his carotid artery. Death will come quickly and silently."

You take the band and guide the party into the colosseum.

You cheer when you see the goblin is still alive, for now.

Wait, the battleground looks the same as it did over a month ago, and, there's your dead body...

You exsanguinate the cave dragon.

We should dodge roll into the arena and make a huge dramatic return in front of the populace, proclaim ourselves as some kind of incredible resurrected demigod figure returned from death via the power of the gods, and then denounce the corrupt, unworthy king in favor of the chosen resistance. Be sure to use our incredible gift at speech giving!

Maybe killing the king isn't the best option. Would you take the thrown for yourself? A kobold ruling the dwarves with the power of blood?

No! You are a champion of friendship!

You modify your toga and repurpose the band as a belt!

"Okay! Here goes. Heeeeyup"

The crowd collectively gasps, then murmurs. There are shouts, screams even, as some realize who you are.


"Oh great king of the Dwarves, law-giver of the Stone and He of the Mighty Beard, I have traveled across time and space and transcended the boundaries of Life and Death to stand humbly before you as a herald of peace between our people. Your glory and wisdom, and the beauty of your kingdom, have reached the ears of my kind, whose meager caves cannot compare to your great halls. It is my wish to bring the might of your kingdom to even greater glory, and see the legacy of its beauty stand in the far and distant future!"

"It was I who vanquished the great Dusak in this very arena. Yes, I died, but I have returned, and with more than just the abilty to speak. My allies include a fierce and powerful warrior, slayer of countless foes, a goddess from the stars with knowledge and wisdom beyond mortal ken, and a servant whose loyalty has never faltered. We offer our services in exchange for the dagger Tributescar, and the freedom of the goblin, who should be seen as a champion and not as a slave."

You turn to the audience, "Now, everyone, sing with me! F is for-"

The king interrupts you. "You can have the dagger! I'm sure it's just some useless trinket collecting dust in our vault!"

"As for the goblin, only one of you will leave this arena alive!" All of the copper walls slam shut.

Indeed, instead of trying to rope the king down into the arena, we could use all the arena blood to build a staircase to freedom. I doubt the king's personal door is sealed so tightly.

EDIT: Also, we should probably ask the goblin her name.
+1 *gesture toward blood staircase* "Care to join me?"
+1, instead of tearing him down to our level, we can elevate ourselves to his. Probably looks better in the people’s eyes.

The goblin stalks towards you with her sword at the ready. "Where the hell did you come from." She asks, mostly to herself.

She is about to chop at your head when you say, "My name's Grawr, what's your name?"

She looks taken off guard. "My name's Ili..."

"Nice to meet you! Hey, lets get out of here. I can just make us a blood staircase."

Just about then you hear a familiar voice shouting from the audience.

"Oi! Hooplehead! Need some help?"

You say, "Oh, or we could just climb the face kicker's rope."

Form a blood elevator?

You admit, "A blood elevator would be waaaay cooler though."

Ili laughs and says, "What?"

"I have blood magic now! I can move it around, and, and, I can fight with it and my friend Mathias can do it to, and he's from, like, this huge place filled with blood, and-"

"Woh there." Ili says, "We'll have plenty of time to talk about this after we get out of here."

"You're right." You say. "Okay, watch this!"

The crowd is filled with tumult as you shape the cave dragon blood into pullies and other elevator components.

The King shouts, "Sorcerer! Someone, stop him! Kill him!"

He turns to run.

"Uh oh."

"All finished!"

"YOU IDIOT. WE ALREADY HAVE A ROPE", Aweme shouts down at you.

Ili looks at you and says, "Grawr, you're amazing."

do kobolds blush?

Regardless-- up we go! As before, watch out for marksdwarves.

+1, but I reiterate that beatboxing some elevator music is a looping important component of our escape.

You conjure yourself some equipment from leftover cave dragon blood.

The blood-boombox begins to come to life with the sound of an instrumental track while you ride the elevator.

You put your mouth to the blood-mic and mimic the sound of a brumubus.

Boom boom kaaah bo bo bom bom kah
Boom boom kaaah bo bo bom bom kah

This goes on for some time.

Ili begins to freestyle to your beat."

"My rap's so sick they call me ill-y.
Hit Z... I'm legendary.

Hoes cling to me like my name's Cacame.
That's right... I'm the best in history.

In time before time. I attacked me.
Awh yeah. Bitches and money."

You echo that for her, "Bitches and money."

Her: "Biches and money"
You: "Bitches and money!"

This goes back and forth until Ili thinks it's the appropriate amount bitches and moneys.

She lets the instrumental track play for a bit.

She continues.

"Get this straight. I'm not alone. See,
My kobold here died and saw the blood sea.
He came back... with hemomancy
Now It's his turn.